A day few months back

I am siting alone in drawing room, have everything in place TV is on but mute(something staring on me but not saying anything , this is some thing good about paid things and services they work as your wish). Laptop is on and singing(i can only hear what i want no matter what people says to me, i am free to do what i want), windows are wide open(so many friends and people i met told me it's always good to be open from inside), kitchen is full as maid came and cooked as per i suggested......suddenly i on the volume of TV and start watching VEER ZARA, a great movie people say so....i dont like to watch SRK movies other then the recent one CHAK DE INDIA, specially because of one man for all showmanship i stuck to the movie it is showing Veer Partap Singh in some jail of Pakistan and Rani Mukheerji as his lawyer trying to help him to get out of jail after 22 years of prisonment alleged for being a member of RAW(Indian intelligency agency) and arrest with two passports named on veer and rakesh...what next Rani trying to conveince SRK to put name of Preity and this way he can be saved and set free to go to his country, inturn SRK conveincing him that he spent his 22 years in jail just because Preity is already married and if he will use her name as a proof that he is veer........shit!! i got into it...all full of typical Bollywoodian drama...suddenly i felt my eyes are wet, hell!!! what went wrong? how comes tears in my eyes? i dont think i am stong enough to hold them but actully i dont have much of it....i lost it some where in past, but yes something is going behind the scene, somene in me is crying, everything is justified in my life i am mature enuf to handle myself in situations, i have good money so that i dont need to cry for anything, enuf of friends to njoy with, i am sitting on my happiness tripod(1. comsumption of productivity, 2. intimacy, 3. hope) den why these tears....i think they want to role out at times but i stopped them with my own worldly explainations, conveinced my self for that...and stopped them not to come out....every moment i justfied worng of me as right they wanted to come out but again i stopped, saying this is the way to be stronger man.....